Jokes & Shayari

Friday 29 August 2014

Boy : I Love you.. Pehli Nazar mein Hi Tumhara
Aashiq Ban Gaya Hu.. Do U Love me..?

Girl : Hmmmm Main Tumhe
Ek Sawal Puchti Hu Agar Tum Jeet Gaye To Mai
Tumhe
Jawab De Dungi....?

Lakda Muskurata Hai Aur Chup Chap Jaane Lagta
Hai..

Girl: Kya Hua Jawab Nai Chahiye..
Ladka : (Palat Kar Kehta Hai)
Mujhe Tumhara Pyaar Chahiye.. Jeet mein mila
Hua
Inaam Nahi....!!

A woman went to police station to file a
report for her missing husband:
Woman: I lost my husband
Inspector: What is his height
Woman: I never noticed
Inspector: Slim or healthy
Woman: Not slim can be healthy
Inspector: Color of eyes
Woman: Never noticed
Inspector: Color of hair
Woman: Should be black
Inspector: What was he wearing
Woman: I don't remember exactly
Inspector: Was somebody with him ?????????
Woman: Yes my Labrador dog (Romeo), tied
with a golden chain,height 30 inches,
healthy, blue eyes, blackish brown hair, his
left foot thumb nail is slightly broken, he
never barks, wearing a golden belt studded
with blue balls, he likes non veg food, we
eat
together, we jog together.
The woman started crying
Inspector: Let's search for the dog first !!!!!!!

1 Larki ki 5 Crore ki Lottery Nikli
Company ne Socha Achanak Bataya to Larki
Khushi se
Mar sakti hai,
Company ne ek Baba ko Ye KAam diya k
Aese Batao k
Wo Khushi se Mar Na Jaye
Baba ne Ja k Us Larki se kaha;
"Farz karo Aap ka 5 Crore ka Inaam Nikle to
Aap Kya
Karo gi?"
Larki: Aap k Samne Dance Karun gi,
Aap se Pyaar Karun gi,
Shaadi kar lo gi
Yehi nahi
Aadha Inaam bhi de dun gi...!
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Saala BABA hi Khushi se Mar gaya

A girl asked a boy -
Why do we fall in a relationship
when we know that someday it will
end...
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Boy- I will answer you..
But first tell me why do we live
when we all know that someday we will
die..!

Ek Professor Restaurant Mein Gaya Aur Sirf Roti Order Ki
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Waiter Ne Roti Lakar Serve Ki, Aur Professor Khaali Plate Me Roti Dubo Kar Khane Laga
.
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Waiter Hairaan Hokar: “Sir Ye Aap Kya Kar Rahe Ho Plate To Khaali Hai”
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Professor: “Shut Up! Main Ek Maths Teacher Hun
Aur Maine Daal Suppose Ki Huyi Hai.“

Boy: Aaj accident hua,uff Marte- Marte
bacha
hu..
.
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Dad: Tumhari hi galti hogi..
.
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Maa: Beta thik to ho na.. ??
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Sis: Bhai kahi chot to nahi aayi.. ??
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Bro: Yaar dhayan se chalaya kar..
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Lover: Tumhe mera Jara bhi khayal
nahi..
&
Friend: Ohh shit yaar..TEHRVI ke Laddu
Milte-Milte reh
gaye...
.
Moral: Dost hote hi kamine hai..
Hit LIKE Kamino ke liye..

Arz karta hu,
.
.
Shayad Mere Pyar Ko Taste Karna Bhool Gaye Tum;
.
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Shayad Mere Pyar Ko Taste Karna Bhool Gaye Tum

.

Dil Sey Aisa Cut Kiya Ki Paste Karna Bhool
Gaye Tum!

*Mere Marne par Rone Ki Baat Karne
Wale To "Bahut Hai "Duniya Me
Ae DoST
Bus Koi Aisa
Chahiye Jo Mere Rone Par
marnay Ki Baat Kar De..* —

Timeline:
Girl1: YøYø! $!nG!nG..tØØ mUc FuNNN...
Girl2: Awww! eNjÔy ßäßy..

Chat:
Girl2: DiDi, KyA bAAt Hai..kAhA..sInGinG kAr RaHi Ho, bAtAyA BHi nAhi..
Girl1: Arr€Y pAgli! AaJ, SoCi€tY Me gAnApAti Laa rAh€ hAi ToH "Ganapati Bappa, Mourya Gaane Ka Hai.."