A young man comes before a customs agent.

A: "State your citizenship."
B:"American" (pronounced with a Spanish accent).
A: "Hold on there, buddy. Say that again."
B: "I sed American."
A: "I'm going to give you a test."
B: "No, no senor, no need for test, I tell you I"m American."
A: "Yeah, sure buddy. OK, let's see, ... I've got it. Make a sentence with the following colors: green, pink and yellow."
B: "Oh senor, I tell you I'm American. But OK, let's see... I was at my bruder-in-laws house and the phone went 'green, green, I pinked it up and sed yellow!" 

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Two cows are standing in a field.
One says to the other "Are you worried about Mad Cow Disease?"
The other one says "No, It doesn't worry me, I'm a horse!" 
Submitted by: Michael Trew Man: How can you tell if a man is happy? 
Woman : Who cares?! 
(Use as an example of a sexist joke.) 

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Two factory workers are talking. The woman says, "I can make the boss give me the day off."
The man replies, "And how would you do that?"
The woman says, "Just wait and see." She then hangs upside-down from the ceiling.
The boss comes in and says, "What are you doing?"
The woman replies, "I'm a light bulb."
The boss then says, "You've been working so much that you've gone crazy. I think you need to take the day off."
The man starts to follow her and the boss says, "Where are you going?"
The man says, "I'm going home, too. I can't work in the dark." 

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Mene maut se jakar kaha ki tu thodey din tal jaa,
Maut ne kaha teri kisi ko jarurat nahi tu chala aa,
Mene kaha koyi h joh sirf mere liye hi jeeta hain,
Maut ne kaha esliye tu roz pani ki jagah ansoo pita h

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Knock, knock. 
Who's there? 
Banana. 
Banana who? 
Knock, knock. 
Who's there? 
Banana. 
Banana who? 
Knock, knock. 
Who's there? 
Banana. 
Banana who? 
Knock, knock. 
Who's there? 
Orange. 
Orange who? 
Orange you glad I didn't say banana? 

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Little Johnny: Teacher, can I go to the bathroom? 
Teacher: Little Johnny, MAY I go to the bathroom? 
Little Johnny: But I asked first! 

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